THE UNDERLYNG TRUTH

'Boy stop it, stop it I said, come on, wake up, shut up now!', he could hear the words clearly and heard some one shaking him violently. He wanted to open his eyes desperately but he couldn't, they seemed to be shut lock!

After a while, some of his sense returned. He opened his eyes, slowly. He could make out through a blurry vision a number of his companions surrounding him. He was lying on his bed, but someone was holding him, lifting his chest up, trying to make him sit.

'Feeling better?' The captain of his regiment asked. He felt it more an order than a question.

He had realized it long ago. The soldiers in the army were all devoid of feelings. Among themselves they were all best buddies but the seniors and the inspectors all has a hardening across their faces. They hardly smiled. It was more like being a prisoner rather than a soldier when they spoke to you.

'Yes sir!' he managed to say at last.

'Nightmares shouldn't scare you as much, Raven, you are a soldier!' The captain said standing up! Raven sat straight.

'Yes sir!', he said again, he couldn't say anything else, he couldn't. He didn't know what it was, but it certainly wasn't a nightmare.

'Fine boys, bask to bed!'. The soldiers dispersed back. The lights were switched off and the captain left.

Raven lay back again, sighing. He was starring into the darkness when he heard a sound close by.

'Who's there?', he demanded

Raven had come recently to Iraq. Unfortunately he had been separated from his regiment and put into another, he practically knew nothing about his mates now.

'Alright kid?', Raven recognized the whispering voice as a concerned one. He smiled at the thought.

'Yes sir',

'Hey , you don’t' call me sir!, my name's Viller fose, you can call me will or violin, I won't mind, plz but not sir , I ain't yet!'

Raven sounded a mild laughter, felling more at ease now.

'Violin will be fine' , he said mischeviously.

'Good , your name is Raven I guess'

'Oh no, it's not Raven !'

'What?'

'Yeah my name is AbdurRahman'

'What? A-b-b-u-- R-a-a---n?'

'Plz plz ! I don't think you will succeed in pronouncing it right, and I don't want any one calling me with my second name, so… you better say Raven, at least that won't change the meaning of my real name!'

'Okay Raven but you must ahave asked your parents to keep for you a shorter name!'

'Well, he laughed again, I was an infant then!'

Will laughed back!. An easiness crept into Raven's heart, at least someone cared. he couldn't make out Will's face yet. The room was dark, but movements could be heard elsewhere too.

'I don't' think a nightmare woke you like that. You were screaming for such a long time.!'

'Yeah it wasn't '

Will was eyeing Raven closely!, he could feel it

'Thennn! What was it?'

'I don't know. It has happened twice since I landed here. It often happens when I am troubled, ever since I was in college.'

'So, it's a disease or something?'

'May be! they say it has something to do with my psychology!'

'Does your family kn…?'

'No it never happens at home! I a m always at peace there'

'Yeah no one can ever be easy here, in this hell!'

His voice revealed a lot of tension and a longing that Raven understood was for home!

The room was growing noisier now. Something hit Violin at eh back of his head!. It was a pillow. He turned

'I am tel…' another one straight on his face. There was a hum of laughter.

'Oh hell!' He said and rose throwing both the pillows back.

'You wanna join?', he asked

Raven shook his head.' No'

He didn't want to join, though it was better to play there than to s it and think about your family. Nothing could be done about it.

He was watching them and laughing. They seemed to have fun, and it was nice, suddenly, Raven heard steps, he jumped to his feet and ran to their to the center of the room!

"Someone's coming, somebody's out there!"

and at that instant, there was some rattle, of jumping and slipping as he ran back to his bed, and then! Silence. Raven shut his eyes tight, his back towards the door, heart beating faster than ever as the door opened. someone stepped inside, looked around and left. There was silence until the sound of steps vanished and then…

…laughter. It was like a roar, and AbdurRahmaan laughed with them. It was just so funny. They were like little naughty kids.

As days passed, he was able to do quiet well with Will and his mates. But they were in war and that tension never left them, no matter what they did or how hard they tried to enjoy!

That day, he was just sitting out in informal clothes when he heard the Azan. It was like music to his ears. He felt a shiver run through him and his hairs stood erect.

Haia'a ala assalah

Haia'a ala alfalah

It was long back he that he had left praying and became irreligious. It was hurting, but he never heard the azan in loud speakers there. Its sound was bouncing, echoing, and just so lovely.

Thennn! He saw people come out of their houses with caps on their heads. They were all going to the masjid, attending to the call!

His heart grew sore, tears trickled down his cheeks and he was crying. He never went to the masjid since his college. He was far away, so diverted, he never noticed people still went to pray. He never knew there were people who attended the call… but now they were going, all together, to the same masjid. They were all smiling. They were all feeling easy. They were not tensed because of the war, they were in the war too and they were unarmed, they were the direct point of attack.

He didn't know when he rose form his place and had started following them. Eh made ablution and went to the masjid. A strange peace was filled in there. He stood with them and prayed, but nothing happened. He couldn't believe they were terrorists. It couldn't be.

He came out and sat at the stairs of the masjid. He didn't want to go back. He would never do it. He knew they would search for him, but he didn't. he had repented for killing his brothers, for wasting half his life behind nothing. He knew he would never be able to go back home, but he felt better here, just like as if it was home!

Back in the camp, he was being searched, no news sir, maybe he has been kidnapped or killed, we don't know.

"Fine! go forward with your work. We can't do anything"

And his chapter in the army was closed. That was all the importance which he got there, when, he had had trained for years to become a capable soldier.

The wind was blowing hard and the sand blew about. His steps were firm and he was smiling.

They will never get peace he thought, AlhamduliLLah , I got!. He walked on the same soil where he had killed, shot many Iraqis. He was walking to the next city where he would find a job and begin a new life, where he would get peace, money, maybe even martyrdom…

We can't doubt the suicide of US soldiers in Iraq. Many soldiers have been reported to have suicided. No wonder they did

If you have no peace of mind and heart, you have nothing…nothing at all.

When you have peace… which is the translation of Islam…you have everything…money…life…satisfaction…

 Submitted by Umm Sa'ad